DARJEELING, GORKHALAND
Last time we talked about the history of the Gorkhaland movement. The Gorkha Janmukti Morcha is campaigning for an independent Nepali state within India, a demand that is historically, logistically and politically respectable.

But that doesn’t excuse the fact that the GJM’s tactics seem like they came out of a focus group of nine year olds. Highlights include:
- Forcing everyone to write “Gorkhaland” on their shop, restaurant or home (otherwise you go on “the list”)
- Banning alcohol and cracking down on live music so it looks like everyone is oppressed and not having any fun
- Giving teenagers big sticks and Gorkhaland-themed tracksuits and letting them walk around town intimidating everybody
- Making elementary school kids march through town chanting “Gorkhaland”

Best of all are the second-rate theatrics the GJM puts on – A few weeks ago, party leader Bimal Gurung announced that he would commit suicide if Gorkhaland wasn’t independent by March 10th, 2010. That didn’t happen, and when the media started to taunt him the GJM staged a press conference to address the issue. In front of a crowd of GJM supporters, Gurung reached for his briefcase to “fulfill [his] promise,” and a swarm of Gorkha women threw themselves on him shouting “Oh please don’t do it!”

Seriously. You can read about it here.

Idiotic as their tactics may be, the GJM isn’t messing around. They have power, influence and legions of angry, goose-stepping kids, so next time we’ll see what happens when they decide to shut down the entire city.